Posted in Personal Journal Blog

Friends and Family

Posted on by @JeriMooreBrunton

Lately, I have been reunited with our 3 daughters and am now living in the same home with them. I don’t live here as their mom, as they are all over 18 and have been living successfully, independently, and thriving without their parents, 8000 miles away for months and years. We live in the same house but I am here as their “flatmate” not their mom. I don’t want to steal their thunder or hinder their personal growth.

We go out regularly and being in their presence is like swimming in the fountain of youth. I listen to them talk about where they are in life and find that I want to share that I’ve been there too to be relatable and share wisdom. They have sarcastic senses of humor and I want to join in but it just hits differently, and sometimes the intentions of my jokes or words are misconstrued.

I’m sensitive so if things aren’t flowing easily when in their presence I become awkward and they jokingly refer to mom as a “pick me girl”. With their dad they have become accustomed to humorously insulting each other, a game I have never played very well. I am indeed a “words of affirmation” gal and when words are less than uplifting and kind I get confused. I giggle for a bit and then find it hard to decipher whether what is being said is in jest or their true feelings. One out of four times things will go sour and I end up clamming up when all I wanted to do was hang out with my Uber cool girls and be their friend. I have to remind myself that I am more than a friend, I made them! There’s a fine line you dance when you want to befriend your children and the family dynamic is blurred.

Our girls are all 3 strong, command attention with their presence, and are creative and smart. When we go places together I pridefully walk a bit taller and a few steps behind, allowing them to joke and speak freely without feeling I am hovering. I am happy just to watch them and most of the time am amazed that I took part in their creation. Yes, I’m a proud mamma.

We have fun together most of the time and I am so thankful to be with them again. I missed them so much when we were apart. They are 18 – 24 and I’m almost 56. My age says I’m old but I feel far from it. I work and live with young people, most of my closest friends are at least 15 hrs younger than me, yet we relate somehow. I’m quirky, I know, and some of the things I say and do are unpredictable at times. I’m not your average bear. I am energetic, a little crazy, love intellectual stimulation, and still crave the magic of newness in my life. My mom was the same, the life of the party, that woman dancing on the dance floor when no one else would, laughing her loud musical laugh and loving with all her heart, so I come by my personality honestly. I had an amazingly close relationship with my mother and I feel I am blessed in the same way with my girls.

It’s tricky to not cross the line of being friends vs family with our girls, and I learn as they find themselves in their discovery years I am still finding myself too. Life is never dull, we laugh, have DMCs, and sometimes fight, it’s all part of our close dynamic. Regardless of distance, lifes joys and challenges, or where we are emotionally, we are so close and always have each other’s backs. In our relationships, we complement each other with our strengths and call out our weaknesses no matter how ugly they can get. We never lose sight of how much we love one another and each day is a growth opportunity or chance to make another lasting memory.

Yeah I want to be relevant to our girls always but I am a mom first and foremost and I was cool, fashionable, fun, and vibrant before our three lovelies ever drew a breath. I want to share that with them and want them to be as proud of me as I am of them. Ok, that does sound a bit “pick me” but who cares. Everyone is a “pick me” to some degree, aren’t they?

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Author:

I have had a wonderfully colorful life, rich with varied experiences. My ability as a singer and career as an administrative assistant/marketing communications manager; have presented me with a wide range of opportunities. I have been fortunate to work with and learn from some accomplished and intelligent business owners, executives and artists. I have explored the world, markets and non-profits I would have never dreamed of exploring. I started out performing in community theater then professionally in night clubs and working as a studio vocalist at the age of 12 in Naples Florida, my home town. My vocal studies began at the age of 8 with my mother who gave me my first vocal lessons. I have had the opportunity to learn with some talented vocal coaches since those lessons with my mother. With them I developed the ability to sing Classical, Jazz and Pop; which allowed me to make a living in the music industry for over 30 years, in America, Europe and NZ. I became proficient in handling the business end of performing and teaching and developed administrative skills that would be used more prominently later on in my life, which I cover further down in this piece. I managed all my own performance bookings and began promoting myself as an up and coming singer, beating the pavement in Nashville TN and learned how to sell my talents in a place where everyone and their mother can sing. Performing in front of large audiences has forced me to be more than skilled at holding my own. I have also been a studio singer and voice over artist, taught choir and private lessons and was the president of a local non-profit music school in NZ for 3 years. Once my husband and I began a family, my career focus shifted more to assisting others in their businesses, along with marketing and often selling their products. I took on the roles of Sales, Marketing Communications and Administrative Assistant full time. Environments where I have worked in these capacities have varied. The most joy I find in my career is having the ability to tap into my creative side where I have been encouraged to indulge in my love for creative and copy writing, both personally and for professionally. I worked in our own residential and commercial playground company and for a Website development/social media management company and cherished watching the birth of our new products become known to the public and seeing our client base grow. I have developed the skill for marketing and promoting products and services through the written word, but I am also a strong and persuasive sales person face to face. We moved from NZ where we had been for 12 yrs, back to Naples Florida in 2015. I took the position as the Administrative Assistant to the Pastor, at the church I grew up in. In my position there I used every skilled I had acquired over my lifetime, from administrative to performing as a vocalist/worship leader. I am a passionate employee and business woman and find it easy to fully immerse myself in my work while still finding joy in the day to day, what I do and the people in my life. My passions are still singing, promoting, creative writing, encouraging others to pursue their dreams while achieve their goals and being outdoors. I love my hometown of Naples and take advantage of all the beauty and outdoor opportunities it has to offer on a regular basis. Being an active person I work best when on the move and busy, socializing and intellectually stimulated. I also thrive in a situation where I have the opportunity to continue learning new skills. I work on being the best version of myself and strive to give it my best shot every day.

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