I’ve been thinking about addiction a lot today – whether it’s to food, alcohol, smoking, adrenaline, or shopping. It’s controlling, life-sucking and maddening. There is a kind of guilt that feeds addiction and you get caught in a loop. In the depths of your addiction you can be plunged into a pool of sadness and the only way to climb out of it is to indulge again.
The addictive act feels good. You get a high from it that’s euphoric. You feel excitement and it all feels fun. Letting go, forgetting the world and responsibility, makes you feel light and alive. You get a buzz out of the wave you’re riding until you black out, step on the scale and see that you are gaining again, look in the mirror and see the ruddy grey of your skin seeped in smoke. You’ve spent beyond your means and 20 pairs of jeans will never be enough. You look good but can’t pay your rent or buy food because you just had to have it — you deserve it! You injure yourself on dangerous climbs, or get pulled out to sea because you have to catch that ultimate ride. You’re wired for it, all of it, and the cycle plays over and over and over.
Addiction can keep you away from the life you want. You can see it just on the horizon and you head towards it but have to stop along the way to feed your addictive behaviour — realising the sun may set before you reach your full potential. You find it easier to sit in your regret and cling to unhealthy habits than to change and fight to keep your dream alive.
Addiction comes in all shapes, sizes and levels of severity. It is progressive though you jump from voluntary pleasure-seeking to uncontrollable compulsion. You crave the intense stimulation until you become out of control and for some reach oblivion.
You can overcome it, hope is not lost. There are therapies, medications and 12-step programs. I am familiar with these as they have played a role in my life as I have grown over the years. I have gained strength and wisdom in finding a higher power and leaning on community. I have seen family members regain their lives and find a higher power and healthy purpose. There have been people I have lost to addiction and those I love who are still battling. Sometimes I feel like I am battling. We are all battling something. Life is not a fairy tale and anything worth having takes time and discipline to obtain.
Keep your chin up, reach out to someone, don’t isolate. Give love and be open to receiving it. Be intentional about changing and breaking unhealthy habits. Be honest about where you are and where you want to be. Seek support, you are not alone. No one wears their ugly bits on their sleeve, but after a while, it shows in their eyes, on their face, and in their voice. Everyone is going through something; we all need someone. We all want the same thing, peace of mind, connection, an easy life without worry, pain or loneliness. It’s there, you just have to dig deep, and it will surface. Have courage and speak up. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
I have had a wonderfully colorful life, rich with varied experiences. My ability as a singer and career as an administrative assistant/marketing communications manager; have presented me with a wide range of opportunities. I have been fortunate to work with and learn from some accomplished and intelligent business owners, executives and artists. I have explored the world, markets and non-profits I would have never dreamed of exploring.
I started out performing in community theater then professionally in night clubs and working as a studio vocalist at the age of 12 in Naples Florida, my home town. My vocal studies began at the age of 8 with my mother who gave me my first vocal lessons. I have had the opportunity to learn with some talented vocal coaches since those lessons with my mother. With them I developed the ability to sing Classical, Jazz and Pop; which allowed me to make a living in the music industry for over 30 years, in America, Europe and NZ. I became proficient in handling the business end of performing and teaching and developed administrative skills that would be used more prominently later on in my life, which I cover further down in this piece. I managed all my own performance bookings and began promoting myself as an up and coming singer, beating the pavement in Nashville TN and learned how to sell my talents in a place where everyone and their mother can sing. Performing in front of large audiences has forced me to be more than skilled at holding my own.
I have also been a studio singer and voice over artist, taught choir and private lessons and was the president of a local non-profit music school in NZ for 3 years.
Once my husband and I began a family, my career focus shifted more to assisting others in their businesses, along with marketing and often selling their products. I took on the roles of Sales, Marketing Communications and Administrative Assistant full time. Environments where I have worked in these capacities have varied. The most joy I find in my career is having the ability to tap into my creative side where I have been encouraged to indulge in my love for creative and copy writing, both personally and for professionally. I worked in our own residential and commercial playground company and for a Website development/social media management company and cherished watching the birth of our new products become known to the public and seeing our client base grow. I have developed the skill for marketing and promoting products and services through the written word, but I am also a strong and persuasive sales person face to face.
We moved from NZ where we had been for 12 yrs, back to Naples Florida in 2015. I took the position as the Administrative Assistant to the Pastor, at the church I grew up in. In my position there I used every skilled I had acquired over my lifetime, from administrative to performing as a vocalist/worship leader. I am a passionate employee and business woman and find it easy to fully immerse myself in my work while still finding joy in the day to day, what I do and the people in my life.
My passions are still singing, promoting, creative writing, encouraging others to pursue their dreams while achieve their goals and being outdoors. I love my hometown of Naples and take advantage of all the beauty and outdoor opportunities it has to offer on a regular basis. Being an active person I work best when on the move and busy, socializing and intellectually stimulated. I also thrive in a situation where I have the opportunity to continue learning new skills. I work on being the best version of myself and strive to give it my best shot every day.
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Jeri's Brain Dump 