Posted in Personal Journal Blog

Faith is not religion

Do you practice religion?

I used to believe in the bricks and mortar church, it’s leader and the community. I basked in the Sunday smiles and charity work being done and I felt I was where I was meant to be. I was working towards and living my divine purpose as I had learned to. I followed my heart and Gods discerning confirmations through the words of those around me and after a great deal of prayer to be surrounded daily by people of faith, I was granted a position as the Administrator to the Pastor and of the church that I grew up in. A place where my mother and brothers ashes lay.

I led with a compassionate heart and worked tirelessly. I observed for three and a half years the inner workings of that church and found that I didn’t like seeing the man behind the curtain. I watched deceit, pain, loss, prideful leadership, a pastor scratching to get out of a hole they had dug for themselves, and faithful community servants and staff run off as if their lives, contributions to the congregation and their children, and gifts meant nothing. The light that surrounded me was being snuffed out and as my heart broke, with great pain, I resigned.

I pray in earnest daily and nightly. I talk to God as if he is a friend by my side throughout the hours that pass. I feel a warm spirit around me that has been with me since my first memory. I know my higher power does not hold my love and faith to whether I attend a building full of people. I love everyone, inside the building and out. I try to see others point of view and sometimes I do and I don’t.

My practice of religion is in the words of hope that reside with me and my maker and I pray that my light shines on all those who come into my life. My religion is love, the one true meaning of being. Basking in all there is to love in the world doesn’t mean you are exempt from pain. I have had my fair share. It simply means your heart is soft and you can be open to all the good this world has to offer.

Posted in Personal Journal Blog

This is what I know

What are you good at?

I know that life throws all of us curveballs but I have learned to bounce back and reinvent myself with every challenge thrown at me.

I have had my share of being knocked down but can pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep on trying. I watched my mom do it my whole life. I also observed my middle sister working hard and never taking no for an answer. These two women have always inspired me. I have made loving friendships with those whose attitudes are positive, supportive, and encouraging, and this too has given me the strength I need to carry on when I felt I couldn’t. I have a loving husband who has always told me I am big and ugly enough to take care of myself and our 3 daughters drive me to strive for perfection just so I can be an example of what an empowered woman should and can be.

I learned discipline through years of vocal training and performed even when I could barely talk because my voice was so tired from singing 6 nights a week, for years. I worked in several businesses and nonprofits until I found my passion. And then sent myself to Uni to do most of my bachelor’s (which I was so close to finishing but didn’t…yet) and also gained my university certificate in digital marketing. I have been a strong family leader, mother, and wife and have never given up. I have a thirst for knowledge and continue to grow in understanding that even Einstein believed “A true genius admits that he/she knows nothing”. I’m no genius but knowledge is power and growth so I continue to learn and adapt.

I am good at working hard and smart. Success can not be had without both elements. I am always looking towards the future, not because I’m not satisfied with the present, but because I know there is always something great just around the corner if I have hope and drive. I am where I am at this moment because I am strong, brave and have faith in my ability, those who love me, and the one who created me.

I am a fighter and I’m not just good at it, I’m a George Forman, knock you out in the first round kind of girl. And if I don’t get you on the first round well there are 11 more to go.

Posted in Personal Journal Blog

Love that’s “all”

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

Having it all is whatever gives me peace. It doesn’t mean that I have to be the girl who dies with the most toys, because let’s face it you can’t take it with you. The peace of knowing you gave love and had love in your life. Now that’s worth catching and never letting go. You will leave this world with your imprint on it in the hearts and minds of those you left behind. To me that is worth living for and what if understand to be, “having it all.”